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Author Topic: I need help  (Read 1113 times)

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I need help
Topic: August 15, 2020, 09:56:17 PM
This post is genuine and sincere, and as a result anonymous. 

The game of hockey has made me feel so insecure over the last few years.  My son, like everyone's kid, is pretty talented. Plays Tier 1 for a local PeeWee org.  I quickly realized that Tier 2 must simply wasn't for us, my son kept asking for more and more hockey. I tried to schedule more events with his tier 2 team but it was not a priority for them.  They would always back out or cancel due to other events,  too much travel etc.
My son asked for more and once he made the team, my wife and I made the 10k commitment.  Yes I say 10k because once you factor in the 5k tuition and equipment and travel, eating out with the team, hotel stays etc plan on spending 10k minimum.

Now that we are in and practicing 3x a week most weeks, I am constantly bombarded with more and more opportunities that I have to turn down.  I use the term opportunities because as you know as hockey parents, we have to live and learn to see what spring/summer teams, what private lessons, what clinics are of value to our kids and which ones are just money grabs.

The social media influence and talk around the rinks about who is doing these private lessons and pictures of tournaments up North has made me feel insecure as a parent.  I know my son wants to do those things but he does a good job of not bringing it up more than the first time. I think he knows his mom and I simply do not have the time or money to "compete" with some of these families.

Hockey really is a sport for the rich. I dont consider myself poor, maybe middle to upper middle class, but the amount of money being thrown around is alarming.  Yes I get it, parents are chasing a dream but its heart breaking to tell your kid he cant do extra that everyone else is doing because mom and dad cant afford it right now.  Or in the event we can swing it this month, how are we going to a private lesson at 1pm? We do work. I've even know people who pull their kid out of school to attend private lessons.

For those of you who can afford Tier 1 plus supplemental private lessons, God Bless.  At least in my rink, I can see the extra paying off. 

Just needed to get this off of my chest.  I know some people who play Tier 2 feel the same way about Tier 1, but believe me there is a whole other level that most of us simply cannot fathom.
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Reply #1:
 August 15, 2020, 10:13:20 PM
my two cents.  Tier 1 below midgets is a money grab.  how much time and money is being used traveling?

Your talented kid could play AA - find the right club and the right coach ...  and you could focus some of your savings on additional private coaching, ice time, etc, etc, etc ... ice time instead of traveling around playing "watered down Tier 1 teams"...

Why do you need to spend money to keep up with the Jones' when you could choose to spend your money in a more efficient way?

There is something to be said for time away from hockey too... keep it new, dont burn your kid out.

Remember, Algebra is important, too.

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Reply #2:
 August 16, 2020, 06:42:33 AM
Don’t compare yourself to the delusional parent that pulls their kid out of school for a lesson.  Do you think that is normal?  Crazy if you ask me.  Just remember, all these kids will end up beer league or if lucky have some college money at 23 years old at north south mid central North Dakota state
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Reply #3:
 August 16, 2020, 07:45:02 AM
The summary of your post is: “I feel insecure as a parent because of my son’s recreational activity”.

Let that soak in for a few.
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Reply #4:
 August 16, 2020, 07:54:26 AM
.....  Just remember, all these kids will end up beer league or if lucky have some college money at 23 years old at north south mid central North Dakota state


lol...so true.

AAA (these days) is nothing more than a money grab at every level and 90% of the kids are there to satisfy mommy and daddys own ego's
while the sane people laugh at them.

and I am prepared for the standard moronic response of " sounds like someones kid didn't make the team" lol dopes.
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Reply #5:
 August 16, 2020, 09:59:04 AM
So as a parent of a midget who just turned down his first offer to be a Tier 1 billet player to play out of state. Don’t sweat the keeping up with the Jones’s. We signed ours up for camp, clinics, private lesson, heck we sent him to Prague CZ to play in a tournament.  Camps he ok with so we stopped. Clinics only enjoyed them if his buddies did it too. Privates he hated it so luckily that was a one and done.  The trip was two fold he got to play hockey we got to see Prague. Just let them do what they enjoy.  Do your homework ask coaches for help.  Our son for the longest time had been looked over for many teams we decided let him have fun and help point him in the right direction to develop into good player
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Reply #6:
 August 16, 2020, 07:21:36 PM
As a parent who has had one kid play at an elite level, don't spend the majority of money on playing games and especially not travel for games. So many kids out of hockey by 18 due to overuse, head, spinal, and shoulder injuries. Agree that a solid AA team is enough. Save your money and make sure he is working toward other career plans. School can never be a side hussle.
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Reply #7:
 August 16, 2020, 08:51:23 PM
Really!
3years of T2 B,3years of A and 2 years AA and my kid is playing at same D3 level as her former teammates that spent 4x the money at AAA clubs and prep school. We were recruited  by a prep school in Midwest at the age of 14 and we turned it down. Money doesn’t buy everything bud!
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Reply #8:
 August 17, 2020, 01:19:20 PM
Jeff Kolcon has a company called Junior Hockey Advisor. He provides complete and comprehensive information on the process through youth hockey to Jr's and college. You can find him and his company on Facebook. It would be really beneficial for you're situation. At the end of the day, once your son hits 15, if he has serious asperations about playing elite hockey, he will have to eventually move out of the Mid Atlantic market.
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