Good year, great coaches. My kid says the most important thing is a coach who doesn't call-out and embarrass kids in front of everyone, that this just makes everyone anxious and unhappy. That makes sense. These kids know -- or should know -- that this is all just-for-fun until beer league, maybe club college hockey, and coaches who make them feel bad for not being perfect or rising to some level the kids aren't interested in or capable of rising to is bad coaching.
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It would be great if it was mandatory for youth hockey coaches to attend Coach Education Seminars by Rob Sedia (the owner of NewEdge Hockey Development Academy). Rob is a Professional Skills Coach and works with multiple NHL players in addition to the many younger players from about 10 years old to NCAA D1. The comment above reminds me of a topic Rob covers in one of his seminars which is "Locker Room & Bench Management".
In this portion of the seminar Rob talks about objectives and how to increase your chances of achieving them from both the coach's perspective and the player's. One example that comes to mind is an in-game example where a player makes a big mistake - let's say it is in his zone and results in a big scoring chance for the other team (or even a goal). The whistle blows and the player who made the big mistake is skating to the bench. While he is skating to the bench the coach is not only giving him the stare down but is yelling about what the player did wrong. This is called "spot-lighting" and is a dated and ineffective tactic used by too many coaches!
The player as well as almost everyone in the building KNOWS he made a big mistake! The coach thinks that by staring him down and yelling his profound words of wisdom to the player while he skates to the bench is an effective way to "coach". The fact of the matter is that the player is down and tuned out as he is skating to the bench. He is upset, embarrassed, and or frustrated by his mistake. While he hears the coach, he is NOT listening to what the coach is saying. The coach just dialed up the player's feelings of being upset, embarrassed, and or frustrated!! The coach "spot-lighted" the player in a negative way and that player is going to have a longer mental bounce back time.
So let's talk about increasing the chances of achieving our objectives. First of all, what are our objectives? As a coach (during a game) it is to help your players be ready, stay focused, be motivated, be disciplined, and to work their tails off. Did "spot lighting" the player do any of that? NO, it did the opposite. Rob's suggestion (for this example) is to not make eye contact nor engage verbally with the player who made the mistake while he skates to the bench - let that player get on the bench and gather his bearings while you (the coach) stay focused on the next line and what is ahead of you. Let the next play start (puck drops) everyone is now focused on what is happening on the ice, NOT the player who made the mistake!
This is when a quality coach approaches the player if he NEEDS to talk to him and he does so with the tried and true Build, Burn, Build method.
1 / BUILD: Start with a positive as it engages the player. "Jimmy, your compete level is through the roof today, keep it up as you are really setting a tone for us".
2 / BURN: Talk about the mistake and how to reduce chances of it happening again. "You got turned around and up against the wall in the corner, that gave him the inside lane and they were able to get that scoring chance. Let's keep that play in front of us, stick on puck, and pressure from the inside out".
3 / BUILD: End it on a positive. This way the players know you are there to help and not just point out mistakes. "Keep up that great energy level Jimmy, the team needs that!"
The last thing and something I found pretty awesome that Rob suggests/requires in this situation is that a teammate is required to give Jimmy a quick and positive "shake it off horse, we got this" type display of support.
All of this literally takes seconds and now Jimmy is staged to compete! His confidence is not shot and the chances of Jimmy doing his job (meeting his objectives) increases instead of decreases. This is just a snap shot of some of the great stuff in Rob Sedia's Coach Education Seminars!